The Idiot Test.

  1. Do they have a 4th of July in England?

  2. How many birthdays does the average man have?

  3. Some months have 31 days; how many have 28?

  4. A woman gives a beggar 50 cents; the woman is the beggar's sister, but the beggar is not the woman's brother. How come?

  5. Why can't a man living in the USA be buried in Canada?

  6. How many outs are there in an inning?

  7. Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow's sister? Why?

  8. Two men play five games of checkers. Each man wins the same number of games. There are no ties. Explain this.

  9. Divide 30 by 1/2 and add 10. What is the answer?

  10. A man builds a house rectangular in shape. All sides have southern exposure. A big bear walks by, what color is the bear? Why?

  11. If there are 3 apples and you take away 2, how many do you have?

  12. I have two US coins totaling 55 cents. One is not a nickel. What are the coins?

  13. If you have only one match and you walked into a room where there was an oil burner, a kerosene lamp, and a wood burning stove, which one would you light first?

  14. How far can a dog run into the woods?

  15. A doctor gives you three pills telling you to take one every half hour. How long would the pills last?

  16. A farmer has 17 sheep, and all but 9 die. How many are left?

  17. How many animals of each sex did Moses take on the ark?

  18. A clerk in the butcher shop is 5' 10'' tall. What does he weigh?

  19. How many two cent stamps are there in a dozen?

  20. What was the President's name in 1950?

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  1. Do they have a 4th of July in England?
    Yes

  2. How many birthdays does the average man have?
    One

  3. Some months have 31 days; how many have 28?
    All of them (12)

  4. A woman gives a beggar 50 cents; the woman is the beggar's sister, but the beggar is not the woman's brother. How come?
    The beggar is her sister.

  5. Why can't a man living in the USA be buried in Canada?
    He can't be buried if he isn't dead.

  6. How many outs are there in an inning?
    Six. Three in the top, three in the bottom.

  7. Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow's sister? Why?
    No - because he is dead.

  8. Two men play five games of checkers. Each man wins the same number of games. There are no ties. Explain this.
    They aren't playing each other.

  9. Divide 30 by 1/2 and add 10. What is the answer?
    70

  10. A man builds a house rectangular in shape. All sides have southern exposure. A big bear walks by, what color is the bear? Why?
    White. The house is at the North Pole so it is a polar bear.

  11. If there are 3 apples and you take away 2, how many do you have?
    2

  12. I have two US coins totaling 55 cents. One is not a nickel. What are the coins?
    A fifty cent piece and a nickel. (The fifty cent piece is not a nickel!)

  13. If you have only one match and you walked into a room where there was an oil burner, a kerosene lamp, and a wood burning stove, which one would you light first?
    The match.

  14. How far can a dog run into the woods?
    Half way. Then he is running out of the woods.

  15. A doctor gives you three pills telling you to take one every half hour. How long would the pills last?
    1 Hour.

  16. A farmer has 17 sheep, and all but 9 die. How many are left?
    9

  17. How many animals of each sex did Moses take on the ark?
    None - Noah took them on the ark, not Moses.

  18. A clerk in the butcher shop is 5' 10'' tall. What does he weigh?
    Meat

  19. How many two cent stamps are there in a dozen?
    12

  20. What was the President's name in 1950?
    Bill Clinton, same as it is now.

Scoring guide:
20 CorrectGenius
17 CorrectAbove Normal
15 CorrectNormal
8 CorrectNincompoop
6 CorrectMoron
3 CorrectIdiot

    Forwarded from Dave Wisneski.