Idiots at the Store...
A man was signing the receipt for his credit card purchase when the clerk
noticed that he had never signed his name on the back of the credit card.
Idiots at Work...
She informed him that she could not complete the transaction unless the card
was signed. When he asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare
the signature on the credit card with the signature he just signed on the
receipt. So he signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared
that signature to the one he signed on the receipt.
As luck would have it, they matched.
Sign in a gas station: Coke 49 cents.
Two for a dollar.
Idiots and Geography...
After interviewing a particularly short-spoken job candidate, a manager
described the person to his boss as rather monosyllabic. The boss said,
"Really? Where is Monosyllabia?"
Advice for Idiots...
Thinking that he was just kidding, I played along and said that it was just
south of Elbonia.
He replied, "Oh, you mean over by Croatia?"
An actual tip from page 16 of the HP "Environmental, Health & Safety Handbook
for Employees:" "Blink your eyelids periodically to lubricate your eyes."
Idiots in the Neighborhood...
The administrative office of a semi-rural township had a new neighbor call to
request the removal of the "Deer Crossing" sign on our road. The reason: Many
deer were being hit by cars and he no longer wanted them to cross there.
Idiots and Computers...
A man works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank.
Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers.
One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this
Idiots are Easy to Please...
"I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire
A student was sitting in his science class, when the teacher commented that the
next day would be the shortest day of the year. His lab partner became visibly
excited, cheering and clapping. He explained to her that the amount of daylight
changes, not the actual amount of time. Needless to say, she was very
Idiots in Food Service...
A woman went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the individual
behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only