The Idiots Are Coming! The Idiots Are Coming!.

Idiots at the Store...
    A man was signing the receipt for his credit card purchase when the clerk noticed that he had never signed his name on the back of the credit card.
          She informed him that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When he asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature on the credit card with the signature he just signed on the receipt. So he signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared that signature to the one he signed on the receipt.
          As luck would have it, they matched.
Idiots at Work...
    Sign in a gas station: Coke — 49 cents. Two for a dollar.
Idiots and Geography...
    After interviewing a particularly short-spoken job candidate, a manager described the person to his boss as rather monosyllabic. The boss said, "Really? Where is Monosyllabia?"
          Thinking that he was just kidding, I played along and said that it was just south of Elbonia.
          He replied, "Oh, you mean over by Croatia?"
Advice for Idiots...
    An actual tip from page 16 of the HP "Environmental, Health & Safety Handbook for Employees:" "Blink your eyelids periodically to lubricate your eyes."
Idiots in the Neighborhood...
    The administrative office of a semi-rural township had a new neighbor call to request the removal of the "Deer Crossing" sign on our road. The reason: Many deer were being hit by cars and he no longer wanted them to cross there.
Idiots and Computers...
    A man works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question:
          "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
Idiots are Easy to Please...
    A student was sitting in his science class, when the teacher commented that the next day would be the shortest day of the year. His lab partner became visibly excited, cheering and clapping. He explained to her that the amount of daylight changes, not the actual amount of time. Needless to say, she was very disappointed.
Idiots in Food Service...
    A woman went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the individual behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.

    Forwarded from Dave Wisneski.