The following instructions actually appear on product labels on your
On Sears hair dryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
Some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box:
Fits one head.
Tesco's Tirimisu Dessert, on the bottom of the box
"Do not turn upside-down."
Marks & Spencer's Bread Pudding
"Product will be hot, after heating."
Rowenta Steam Iron
"Do not iron clothes on body."
Boots Children's Cough Medicine
"Do not drive car or operate machinery."
Nytol, a sleep aid
"Warning: may cause drowsiness."
A Korean Kitchen Knife
"Warning: keep out of children."
Chinese-Made Christmas Lights
"For indoor or outdoor use only."
Japanese Food Processor
"Not to be used for the other use."
"Warning: contains nuts."
American Airlines, Nut Packet
"Instructions: open packet, eat nuts."
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands."
"Why not try tossing over your favorite breakfast cereal?"