I KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH STRESSFUL SITUATIONS
I'm on Prozac. When I'm not, I take lots of cigarette and
I SEEK A JOB THAT WILL DRAW UPON MY STRONG COMMUNICATION &
I talk too much and like to tell other people what to do.
I'M EXTREMELY ADEPT AT ALL MANNER OF OFFICE ORGANIZATION
I've used Microsoft Office.
I'M HONEST, HARD-WORKING AND DEPENDABLE
I pilfer office supplies.
MY PERTINENT WORK EXPERIENCE INCLUDES
I hope you don't ask me about all the McJobs I've had.
I TAKE PRIDE IN MY WORK
I blame others for my mistakes.
I'M BALANCED AND CENTERED
I'll keep crystals at my desk and do Tai Chi at lunch time.
I HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR
I know a lot of corny, old jokes and I tell them badly.
I give lots of unsolicited personal advice to co-workers.
I'M EXTREMELY PROFESSIONAL
I carry a Day-Timer.
MY BACKGROUND AND SKILLS MATCH YOUR REQUIREMENTS
You're probably looking for someone more experienced.
I AM ADAPTABLE
I've changed jobs many times.
I AM ON THE GO
I'm never at my desk.
I'M HIGHLY MOTIVATED TO SUCCEED
The minute I find a better job, I'm outta here.
I HAVE FORMAL TRAINING
I'm a college drop-out.
I INTERACT WELL WITH CO-WORKERS
I've been accused of sexual harassment.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME AND CONSIDERATION
Wait! Don't throw me away!
I LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING FROM YOU SOON
I'm gonna hold my breath waiting for your form letter
thanking me "for my interest and wishing me luck in my future