Bill Gates’ Home: Powered by Windows.
 
Bill Gates is known for being the man pushing the buttons on behemoth mega-corporation Microsoft. So would it make perfect sense that his home would sport the latest in automated systems? And pray, what would be the operating system of choice to power this high-tech abode? Windows, of course!

But there are a few problems that Bill neglects to mention:

  1. The front door takes at least two minutes to open.
  2. Every now and then, electrical appliances will shutdown for a few seconds and then restart.
  3. When you flush the toilet it asks, “Are you sure?”
  4. Every so often the house will crumble to its foundations, requiring it to rebuilt.
  5. Walking to another room requires you to insert the CD labeled “Windows 95.”
  6. Turning on light switches requires two clicks.
  7. You can never have more than one window open at a time.
  8. The shower has the annoying habit of entering “suspend” mode every five minutes, requiring a password for the water to be turned on again.
  9. When a thief enters, the house offers a guided tour.
  10. The doormat reads “start” instead of “welcome.”
  11. When you walk within ten meters of a door it automatically opens.
  12. There is a serious problem concerning cockroaches, termites and other such bugs.
  13. There is an online tutorial for climbing the stairs.
  14. Buying new furniture requires you to use the “add new hardware wizard.”
  15. The high-tech security system includes a password on the front door. However, this can be easily bypassed by simply opening the door.
  16. When Bill kisses his wife, the house offers assistance.
  17. If you walk backwards, the house gets confused and folds in on itself.
  18. The rumpus room is jam-packed with enthralling games like “Hearts,” “Minesweeper,” and “Solitaire.”
  19. There was an unpleasant court case where Bill Gates was trying to purchase his home with a garage already installed.
  20. The TV remote control has a list of “favourites” and a mind of its own.
  21. Kitchen utensils can be arranged by name, type, size or date.
  22. When you sit down, the house gives you a dozen suggestions of what you can do while in that particular position.
  23. The brickwork is horribly jumbled and it is a wonder why it all stays together in the first place.
  24. If there are too many people in the house at the one time, all the doors will lock by themselves and good old Bill is forced to dig his way out.
  25. The wallpaper design is in red, blue, yellow and green.
  26. If you take an egg out of the fridge, it automatically assumes you are making breakfast and does the rest for you.
  27. There is a mousetrap at every corner. 
    Written by Justin Liew.