It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Brooklyn version of Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside New York. If you have one of the Brooklyn editions you may need some help understanding the commands.

• The Brooklyn version may be recognized by looking at the opening screen. It reads WINDAS 98 with a background picture of the East River with a floating body.
• It is shipped with a 'NYPD BLUE' screensaver.
• Also note the Recycle Bin is labeled 'Garbitch'
• My Computer is called 'My Freakin Computer,'
• Dialup Networking is called 'Good Fellas',
• Control Panel is known as the 'da Tote Board,'
• Hard Drive is referred to as 'da trunk', and....
• Floppies are 'dem little freakin plastic disk t'ings'.

OTHER FEATURES AND DEFINITIONS:

• Instead of an error message you get a winda covered with steel bars and grafitti.
• OK = do it I tell ya
• Cancel = hell no
• Reset = dis is ya last chance
• Yes = okay
• No = nah
• Find = turn dis place ova
• Insert = stick it in dere
• Delete = rub it out
• Help = ay, can I get some help here
• Stop = ya betta quit it
• Start = let's get a move on
• Settings = da Fix
• Programs = stuff
• Documents = stuff dat I already done

Also note that windas 98 does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks.

Some programs that are exclusive to windas 98:

• Pitcha maker — a Graphics program
• Numbas — calculator
• Scratch paper — notepad
• Boom-box — CD player
• Da Web — Microsoft Explorer
• pitchas — A graphics viewer
• IRS — M/S accounting software
• IRS2 — M/S accounting software with hidden files
• Bookie — Race track records tax records... usually an empty file
• Graffiti — screen saver
• Red Light District — Internet connection
• Vinnie's — Discount computer repairs

We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy of the Brooklyn edition. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.