EVEN IF YOU'RE ONE IN A MILLION, THERE ARE 6,000 PEOPLE IN THE WORLD JUST LIKE YOU.

THE GENE POOL COULD USE A LITTLE CHLORINE.

TIME IS WHAT KEEPS EVERYTHING FROM HAPPENING ALL AT ONCE

I DIDN'T FIGHT MY WAY TO THE TOP OF THE FOOD CHAIN TO BE A VEGETARIAN

WOMEN WHO SEEK TO BE EQUAL WITH MEN LACK AMBITION.

YOUR KID MAY BE AN HONOR STUDENT BUT YOU'RE STILL AN IDIOT

IF WE AREN'T SUPPOSED TO EAT ANIMALS, WHY ARE THEY MADE WITH MEAT?

FEW WOMEN ADMIT THEIR AGE, FEW MEN ACT IT.

I DON'T SUFFER FROM INSANITY, I ENJOY EVERY MINUTE OF IT.

IT'S LONELY AT THE TOP, BUT YOU EAT BETTER.

LOVE: TWO VOWELS, TWO CONSONANTS, TWO FOOLS.

ACCORDING TO MY CALCULATIONS THE PROBLEM DOESN'T EXIST.

SOME PEOPLE ARE ALIVE ONLY BECAUSE IT IS ILLEGAL TO KILL THEM

PRIDE IS WHAT WE HAVE VANITY IS WHAT OTHERS HAVE

FORGET ABOUT WORLD PEACE...VISUALIZE USING YOUR TURN SIGNAL

WARNING: DATES ON CALENDAR ARE CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR

GIVE ME AMBIGUITY OR GIVE ME SOMETHING ELSE

WE HAVE ENOUGH YOUTH, HOW ABOUT A FOUNTAIN OF "SMART"

MAKE IT IDIOT PROOF AND SOMEONE WILL MAKE A BETTER IDIOT.

HE WHO LAUGHS LAST THINKS SLOWEST.

I SMILE BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON.

ALWAYS REMEMBER YOU'RE UNIQUE, JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.

LOTTERY: A TAX ON PEOPLE WHO ARE BAD AT MATH.

VERY FUNNY SCOTTY. NOW BEAM DOWN MY CLOTHES.

CONSCIOUSNESS: THAT ANNOYING TIME BETWEEN NAPS.

WE ARE MICROSOFT. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED.

3 KINDS OF PEOPLE: THOSE WHO CAN COUNT AND THOSE WHO CAN'T

WHY IS "ABBREVIATION" SUCH A LONG WORD?

EVER STOP TO THINK, AND FORGET TO START AGAIN?

DIPLOMACY IS THE ART OF SAYING "NICE DOGGIE!"TILL YOU CAN FIND A ROCK.

I LIKE YOU BUT I WOULDN'T WANT TO SEE YOU WORKING WITH SUB-ATOMIC PARTICLES.

"AUNTIE EM: HATE YOU, HATE KANSAS, TAKING THE DOG." -DOROTHY

LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION, I CAN FIND IT MYSELF.

ESCHEW OBFUSCATION.