| Acura Integra | I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars
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| Acura Legend | I'm too bland for German cars
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| Acura NSX | I am not impotent ...
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| Acura Vigor | I wanted a Legend but couldn't afford one
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| Audi 90 | I enjoy putting out engine fires
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| BMW 318i | I love my father, whose girlfriend is my age
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| Buick Park Avenue | I am older than 34 of the 50 states
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| Buick Skylark | I really liked the original Batmobile
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| Cadillac Cimarron | I love the Chevy Cavalier, and I'm rich
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| Cadillac DeVille | I am about to die
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| Cadillac Eldorado | I am a very good Mary Kay salesman
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| Cadillac Seville | I am a pimp
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| Chevrolet Camaro | I enjoy beating up people
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| Chevrolet Chevette | I like seeing people's reactions when
I tell them I have a 'Vette
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| Chevrolet Corvette | I'm in a mid-life crisis
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| Chevrolet El Camino | I am leading a militia to overthrow
the government
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| Chevy Suburban | I am a very short/small person and I feel
bigger and superior
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| Chrysler Cordova | I dig the rich Corinthian leather
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| Datsun 280Z | I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well
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| Dodge Dart | I teach third grade special education and I voted
for Eisenhower
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| Dodge Daytona | I delivered pizza for four years to get this car
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| Ford Explorer | I like to follow the trendy things (also see Jeep)
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| Ford Fairmont | (See Dodge Dart)
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| Ford Mustang | I slow down to 85 in school zones
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| Ford Crown Victoria | I enjoy having people slow to 55mph & change
lanes when I pull up behind them
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| Ford Probe | I can't afford a real sports car
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| Ford Windstar | I have four children, and they all play soccer
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| Geo Storm | I will start the 11th grade in the Fall.
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| Geo Tracker | I will start the 12th grade in the Fall.
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| Honda del Sol | I have always said, half a convertible is better than no
convertible at all
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| Honda Civic | I have just graduated and have no credit
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| Honda Accord | I lack any originality and am basically a lemming.
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| Hyundai Excel | I hate my life
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| Infiniti G20 | I wanted a Q45 but couldn't afford one.
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| Infiniti Q45 | I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits
pending.
|
|---|
| Isuzu Impulse | I do not give a rip about J.D. Power or his
reports.
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|---|
| Jaguar XJ6 | I am so rich I will pay $60,000 for a car that
is in the shop 280 days per year.
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|---|
| Jeep | I want people to think that I am tough and cool
and I couldn't afford a Land Rover.
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| Kia Sephia | I learned nothing from the failure of Diahatsu Corp.
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| Lincoln Town Car | I live for bingo and covered dish suppers
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| Mercury Grand Marquis | (See above)
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| Mercedes 500SL | I will beat you up if you ask me for an
autograph.
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|---|
| Mercedes 560SEL | I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son
named Cole.
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| Mazda Miata | I do not fear being decapitated by an 18-wheeler
|
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| MGB | I am dating a mechanic
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| Mitsubishi Diamante | I don't know what it means either
|
|---|
| Mitsubishi 3000GT | I'm a RICH pasty white guy who wears
wraparound sunglasses and listens to Hootie and the Blowfish.
|
|---|
| Nissan 300ZX | I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings.
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|---|
| Oldsmobile Cutlass | I just stole this car and I'm going to
make a....
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| Peugeot 505 Diesel | I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List
|
|---|
| Plymouth Neon | I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena
|
|---|
| Pontiac Grand Am | I'm a pasty white guy who wears wraparound
sunglasses and listens to Hootie and the Blowfish.
|
|---|
| Pontiac Trans AM | I have a switchblade in my sock
|
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| Porsche 944/Boxster | I am dating big breasted women that
otherwise would be inaccessible to me
|
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| Rolls Royce Silver Shadow | I think Pat Buchanan is a tad
bit too liberal
|
|---|
| Saturn SC2 | (See Honda Civic)
|
|---|
| Subaru Legacy | I have always wanted a Japanese car even more
than common sense
|
|---|
| Toyota Camry | I am still in the closet
|
|---|
| Toyota 4Runner | I want to be one of the crowd and look
important (also see Jeep and Ford Explorer)
|
|---|
| Volkswagon Beetle | I still watch Partridge Family reruns
|
|---|
| Volkswagon Cabriolet | I am out of the closet
|
|---|
| Volkswagon Microbus | I am a serial killer
|
|---|
| Volvo 240 Sedan | I voted for Clinton, and am a member of the
Sierra Club
|
|---|
| Volvo 740 Wagon | I am frightened of my wife
|
|---|
| Volvo 740 Turbo Wagon | I am somewhat frightened of my wife
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