Acura Integra | I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars
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Acura Legend | I'm too bland for German cars
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Acura NSX | I am not impotent ...
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Acura Vigor | I wanted a Legend but couldn't afford one
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Audi 90 | I enjoy putting out engine fires
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BMW 318i | I love my father, whose girlfriend is my age
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Buick Park Avenue | I am older than 34 of the 50 states
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Buick Skylark | I really liked the original Batmobile
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Cadillac Cimarron | I love the Chevy Cavalier, and I'm rich
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Cadillac DeVille | I am about to die
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Cadillac Eldorado | I am a very good Mary Kay salesman
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Cadillac Seville | I am a pimp
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Chevrolet Camaro | I enjoy beating up people
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Chevrolet Chevette | I like seeing people's reactions when
I tell them I have a 'Vette
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Chevrolet Corvette | I'm in a mid-life crisis
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Chevrolet El Camino | I am leading a militia to overthrow
the government
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Chevy Suburban | I am a very short/small person and I feel
bigger and superior
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Chrysler Cordova | I dig the rich Corinthian leather
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Datsun 280Z | I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well
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Dodge Dart | I teach third grade special education and I voted
for Eisenhower
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Dodge Daytona | I delivered pizza for four years to get this car
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Ford Explorer | I like to follow the trendy things (also see Jeep)
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Ford Fairmont | (See Dodge Dart)
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Ford Mustang | I slow down to 85 in school zones
|
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Ford Crown Victoria | I enjoy having people slow to 55mph & change
lanes when I pull up behind them
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Ford Probe | I can't afford a real sports car
|
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Ford Windstar | I have four children, and they all play soccer
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Geo Storm | I will start the 11th grade in the Fall.
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Geo Tracker | I will start the 12th grade in the Fall.
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Honda del Sol | I have always said, half a convertible is better than no
convertible at all
|
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Honda Civic | I have just graduated and have no credit
|
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Honda Accord | I lack any originality and am basically a lemming.
|
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Hyundai Excel | I hate my life
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Infiniti G20 | I wanted a Q45 but couldn't afford one.
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Infiniti Q45 | I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits
pending.
|
---|
Isuzu Impulse | I do not give a rip about J.D. Power or his
reports.
|
---|
Jaguar XJ6 | I am so rich I will pay $60,000 for a car that
is in the shop 280 days per year.
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Jeep | I want people to think that I am tough and cool
and I couldn't afford a Land Rover.
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Kia Sephia | I learned nothing from the failure of Diahatsu Corp.
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Lincoln Town Car | I live for bingo and covered dish suppers
|
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Mercury Grand Marquis | (See above)
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Mercedes 500SL | I will beat you up if you ask me for an
autograph.
|
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Mercedes 560SEL | I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son
named Cole.
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Mazda Miata | I do not fear being decapitated by an 18-wheeler
|
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MGB | I am dating a mechanic
|
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Mitsubishi Diamante | I don't know what it means either
|
---|
Mitsubishi 3000GT | I'm a RICH pasty white guy who wears
wraparound sunglasses and listens to Hootie and the Blowfish.
|
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Nissan 300ZX | I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings.
|
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Oldsmobile Cutlass | I just stole this car and I'm going to
make a....
|
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Peugeot 505 Diesel | I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List
|
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Plymouth Neon | I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena
|
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Pontiac Grand Am | I'm a pasty white guy who wears wraparound
sunglasses and listens to Hootie and the Blowfish.
|
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Pontiac Trans AM | I have a switchblade in my sock
|
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Porsche 944/Boxster | I am dating big breasted women that
otherwise would be inaccessible to me
|
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Rolls Royce Silver Shadow | I think Pat Buchanan is a tad
bit too liberal
|
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Saturn SC2 | (See Honda Civic)
|
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Subaru Legacy | I have always wanted a Japanese car even more
than common sense
|
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Toyota Camry | I am still in the closet
|
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Toyota 4Runner | I want to be one of the crowd and look
important (also see Jeep and Ford Explorer)
|
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Volkswagon Beetle | I still watch Partridge Family reruns
|
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Volkswagon Cabriolet | I am out of the closet
|
---|
Volkswagon Microbus | I am a serial killer
|
---|
Volvo 240 Sedan | I voted for Clinton, and am a member of the
Sierra Club
|
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Volvo 740 Wagon | I am frightened of my wife
|
---|
Volvo 740 Turbo Wagon | I am somewhat frightened of my wife
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