- What California city can't Bill get off his mind lately?
- Scent o'
- Did you hear Clinton is declaring a new National Bird?
- The Spread
- How many White House Interns does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they're too busy screwing the President.
- What is Clinton's favorite toy?
- An Erector Set.
- What is Clinton's favorite card game?
- What is Clinton's worst nightmare?
- An intern with braces.
- How did they finally bust Clinton?
- Monica finally coughed up the
- During Nixon's administration we had a crisis involving "Tricky
Now we have a crisis involving "Licky Dicky."
- What's Slick Willie's new nickname?
- What do the Nixon Whitehouse and the Clinton Whitehouse have in
Two Dicks out of control.
- Did you hear that Monica Lewinsky is now working for 7-11?
endorsing the "Big Gulp."
- Why is Clinton so interested in events in the Middle East?
- He thinks
Gaza Strip is a topless bar.
- Why does Clinton swim naked in the White House pool?
- He is trolling
- What is Clinton's new Secret Service Code Name?
- Why can't they prove anything in the Monica Lewinsky case?
- Because she
swallowed the evidence.
- How did Bill reply regarding questions of "coaching" Monica's
"It wasn't words that I put in her mouth!"
- What is the difference between George Washington, Richard Nixon, and
- Washington couldn't tell a lie, Nixon couldn't tell the truth, and
Clinton doesn't know the difference.
- What do Monica Lewinsky and Bob Dole have in common?
- They were both
when Bill finished first.
- What does Ted Kennedy have that Bill Clinton wished he had?
- A dead
girlfriend and an ex-wife.
- Have you heard about the new presidential limousine?
- It's called the
Pervertible...the top goes up and the intern goes down.
- What's the new press name for the latest Presidential scandal?
- What does Monica Lewinsky have on her Resume?
"Sat on the Presidential Staff."
- What is the difference between Monica Lewinsky and a Hoover vacuum?
Where the DirtBag attaches.
- If Ted Kennedy, Dan Quayle, Bob Packwood and Bill Clinton all had a
spelling contest, which one would win?
- Dan Quayle. He's the only one who
knows that harass is one word.
- Why did Monica Lewinsky accept an offer to work on the White House
- She didn't understand what STAFF he really meant.
- What's the difference between Bill Clinton and the Titanic?
We know how many went down on the Titanic.
- How could President Clinton deny he had sex with Monica Lewinsky?
Clinton claims it wasn't sex because, after all, she didn't swallow.
- What's the most popular game at the White House?
Swallow the leader.
- If Kenneth Starr can extend his probe, what is wrong with Clinton
- What do you get when you cross a crooked lawyer with a greedy
- What movie does Bill Clinton show to seduce White House interns?
- What's 12 inches long, 3 inches wide and hangs in front of an asshole?
Bill Clintons' tie.
- Why does Hillary Clinton wear high collared blouses?
So you won't see her adam's apple move when Bill talks.
- Wouldn't Monica be great in the "got milk" ads?
- Can't you just picture
her with that little white moustache?
- In a survey of American women, when asked, "Would you sleep with
President Clinton", 86% replied, "Not again!"
- After the Lewinsky story broke, Hillary asked Bill to comfort her with
those three little words. Bill said, "EATIN' ain't CHEATIN'!"
- Monica didn't get paid for working in the White House...she did it for
- The new favorite dish in the White House is the Clinton stew. One
in hot water.
- Clinton has given up the Saxophone...instead he's learning how to play
- Bill: "I didn't tell her to lie in the DEPOSITION...I told her to lie
THAT there position!"
- Bill Clinton accused Monica of not following the partyline...He says
only paid lip service to it.
- Clinton hired Johnny Cochran for his defense. The new line is..."If
spit, you must aquit!"
- The Secret Service got a real scare the other day when someone threw a
beer at Bill Clinton during his morning jog. Fortunately, it was a draft,
so he was able to dodge it.
- Hillary just hired a new White House intern ... LORENNA BOBBIT!
- Most people worry about getting AIDS from SEX. Bill worries about
SEX from AIDES!
- The President got a dog so that Hillary wouldn't be confused when she
walked past the Oval Office and heard, "Roll over, sit, stay. Good. Now
here's your bone."
- Hillary's new book: "It Takes A Village/ To satisfy my husband."