The Intern in the Hat.
 
I did not do it in a car 
I did not do it in a bar 
I did not do it in the dark 
I did not do it in the park 

I did not do it on a date 
I did not ever fornicate 
I did not do it at a dance 
I did not do it in her pants 

I did not get beyond first base 
I did not do it in her face 
I never did it in a bed 
If you think that, you've been misled 

I did not do it with a groan 
I did not do it on the phone 
I did not cause her dress to stain 
I never boinked Saddam Hussein 

I did not do it with a whip 
I never fondled Linda Tripp 
I never acted really silly 
With volunteers like Kathleen Willey 

There was one time, with Margaret Thatcher 
I chased her 'round, but could not catch her 
No kinky stuff, not on your life 
I wouldn't, even with my wife 

And Gennifer Flowers' tale of woes 
Was paid for by my right-wing foes 
And Paula Jones, and those State Troopers 
Are just a bunch of party poopers 

I did not ask my friends to lie 
I did not hang them out to dry 
I did not do it last November 
But if I did, I don't remember 

I did not do it in the hall 
I could have, but I don't recall 
I never did it in my study 
I never did it with my dog, Buddy 

I never did it to Sox, the cat 
I might have once with Arafat 
I never did it in a hurry 
I never groped Ms. Betty Currie 

There was no sex at Arlington 
There was no sex on Air Force One 
I might have copped a little feel 
And then endeavored to conceal 

But never did these things so lewd 
At least, not ever in the nude T
hese things to which I have confessed 
They do not count, if we stayed dressed 

It never happened with a cigar 
I never dated Mrs. Starr 
I did not know this little sin 
Would be retold on CNN 

Ibroke some rules my Mama taught me 
I tried to hide, but now you've caught me 
But I implore, I do beseech 
Do not condemn, do not impeach 

I might have got a little tail
But never, never did I inhale. 

    Forwarded from Jeff Dunne.