Things Actually Said in Court.

Q:What is your date of birth?
A:July 15.
Q:What year?
A:Every year.

Q:What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A:Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

Q:This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A:Yes.
Q:And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A:I forget.
Q:You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?

Q:How old is your son, the one living with you.
A:Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q:How long has he lived with you?
A:Forty-five years.

Q:What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
A:He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q:And why did that upset you?
A:My name is Susan.

Q:And where was the location of the accident?
A:Approximately milepost 499.
Q:And where is milepost 499?
A:Probably between milepost 498 and 500.

Q:Sir, what is your IQ?
A:Well, I can see pretty well, I think.

Q:Did you blow your horn or anything?
A:After the accident?
Q:Before the accident.
A:Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it.

Q:Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
A:We both do.
Q:Voodoo?
A:We do.
Q:You do?
A:Yes, voodoo.

Q:Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?
A:Yes.
Q:Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
A:Yes, sir.
Q:What did she say?
A:‘What disco am I at?’

Q:Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

Q:The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?

Q:Were you present when your picture was taken?

Q:Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?

Q:Did he kill you?

Q:How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?

Q:You were there until the time you left, is that true?

Q:How many times have you committed suicide?

Q:So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A:Yes.
Q:And what were you doing at that time?

Q:She had three children, right?
A:Yes.
Q:How many were boys?
A:None.
Q:Were there any girls?

Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A:Yes.
Q:And these stairs, did they go up also?

Q:Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?
A:I went to Europe, Sir.
Q:And you took your new wife?

Q:How was your first marriage terminated?
A:By death.
Q:And by whose death was it terminated?

Q:Can you describe the individual?
A:He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q:Was this a male, or a female?

Q:Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A:No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

Q:Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A:All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

Q:All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A:Oral.

Q:Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A:The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q:And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A:No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

Q:Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

Q:Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A:No.
Q:Did you check for blood pressure?
A:No.
Q:Did you check for breathing?
A:No.
Q:So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A:No.
Q:How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A:Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q:But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A:It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

    Forwarded from Ted Emiliani.