The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were
born in 1982.
You're Probably Aged 25 to 35 If...
They have no meaningful recollection of the Reagan
Era and probably
did not know he had ever been shot.
They were prepubescent when the Persian Gulf War was waged.
Black Monday 1987 is as significant to them as the
There has been only one Pope.
They were 9 when the Soviet Union broke apart and do not remember
the Cold War.
They have never feared a nuclear war.
They are too young to remember Challenger blowing up.
Tienamen Square means nothing to them.
Their lifetime has always included AIDS.
Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic.
Atari predates them, as do vinyl albums.
The expression "you sound like a broken record" means nothing to
They have never owned a record player.
They have likely never played Pac Man and have never heard of Ping Pong.
They may have never heard of an 8 track.
The Compact Disc was introduced when they were 1 year old.
As far as they know, stamps have always cost about 33 cents.
They have always had an answering machine.
Most have never seen a TV set with only 13 channels.
Most have never seen a black-and-white TV.
They have always had cable.
There have always been VCRs, but they have no idea what BETA is.
They cannot fathom not having a remote control.
Some use the word "clickers" for "remote control", yet they
do not know why they say it.
They were born the year that Walkmen were introduced by Sony.
Roller-skating has always meant inline for them.
From their earliest years, a camera was something you used
once and threw away.
Jay Leno has always been on The Tonight Show.
They have no idea when or why Jordache jeans were cool.
Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.
They have never seen Larry Bird play.
They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.
The Vietnam War is as ancient to them as World War I, World War II and the
They have no idea that Americans were ever held hostage in Iran.
They can't imagine what hard contact lenses are.
They don't know who Mork was or where he was from.
They never heard: "Where's the beef?" "I'd walk a
mile for a Camel," or "de plane, de plane."
They do not care who shot J.R. and have no idea who J.R. is.
The Titanic was found? They thought we always knew where it was.
Michael Jackson has always been white.
Kansas, Chicago, Boston, America, and Alabama are
places, not groups.
McDonald's never came in Styrofoam containers.
There has always been MTV.
They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.
- You wore anything Izod, especially those windbreakers that folded
up into a pouch you could wear around your waist.
- You owned a Jordache anything, or you remember when Jordache
jeans were cool.
- You remember LeFreak by Chic.
- In your sophomore class picture, you're wearing an Izod shirt
with the collar "up."
- "All-skate, change directions" means something to you.
- In high school, you and all your friends discussed elaborate
plans to get together again at the end of the century and play "1999"
over and over again.
- You rode in the back of the station wagon and you faced the cars
behind you in the "tail gunner" position.
- Schoolhouse Rock played a HUGE part in how you actually learned
the English language.
- You ever dressed to emulate a person you saw in either a Duran
Duran, Madonna, Rick Springfield, or Cyndi Lauper video.
- You actually know who Rick Springfield is.
- You're starting to believe (now that it wouldn't affect YOU) that
maybe having the kids go to school year-round wouldn't be such a bad
idea after all.
- You ever wanted to be gagged with a spoon.
- Bo and Luke Duke.
- There was nothing strange about Bert n' Ernie living together.
- Knickers and leg warmers were cool.
- You learned to swim about the same time Jaws came out and still
carry the emotional scars to this day.
- You ever wanted to learn to play "Stairway to Heaven" on the
guitar and choreographed "Dancing Queen" by yourself in your room.
- You were afraid of the Sleestaks on Land of the Lost.
- The first time you ever kissed someone was at a dance during
"Crazy for You" by Madonna.
- You ever used the phrase "kiss mah gri ts" in conversation.
- You had ringside seats for Luke and Laura's wedding.
- You know who shot J.R.
- This rings a bell: "and my name, is Charlie. They work for me."
- You ever had a Dorothy Hammill haircut.
- You sat with your friends on a Friday night and dialed
"8-6-7-5-3-0-9" to see if Jenny would answer.
- You owned a pair of Rainbow suspenders just like Mork used to wear.
- You remember when your cable TV box had the three rows of numbers
and you had to move the selector switch accordingly.
- You could sing "99 Red Balloons" in English and in German.
- Feathered hair.
- Your jaw would ache by the time you finished those "brick-sized"
packages of Bazooka gum.
- The phrase "Where's the beef?" stil doubles you over with laughter.