You'll need the following:
1 cup of water
1 cup of sugar
4 large brown eggs
2 cups of dried fruit
1 teaspoon of salt
1 cup of brown sugar
1 cup of nuts
1 bottle of whiskey.
Sample the whiskey to check for quality.
Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again. To be sure it's the
highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the
electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add
one teaspoon of sugar and beat again.
Make sure the whiskey is still okay. Cry another tup. Turn off the
mixer. Beat two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of
dried fruit. Mix on the tuner. If the fired druit gets stuck in the
beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of
salt. Or something. Who cares? Check the whiskey. Now sift the
lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or
something. Whatever you can find.
Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget to
beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window. Check the
whiskey again and go to bed.