God Creating Heaven and Earth on His Computer.


- IN THE BEGINNING
- (To justify God's ways to the 21st century)
-
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- #In the beginning was the computer. And God said
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- :Let there be light!
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- #You have not signed on yet.
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- :God.
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- #Enter user password.
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- :Omniscient.
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- #Password Incorrect. Try again!
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- :Omnipotent.
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- #Password Incorrect. Try again!
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- :Technocrat.
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- #And God signed on 12:01 a.m., Sunday, March 1.
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- :Let there be light!
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- #Unrecognizable command. Try again!
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- :Create light.
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- #Done.
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- :Run heaven and earth.
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- #And God created Day and Night. And God saw there were 0 errors.
- #And God signed off at 12:02 a.m., Sunday, March 1.
- #Approx. funds remaining: $92.50.
-
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- #And God signed on at 12:00 a.m., Monday, March 2.
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- :Let there be firmament in the midst of the water and
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- #Unrecognizable command! Try again!
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- :Create firmament.
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- #Done.
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- :Run firmament.
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- #And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 errors.
- #And God signed off at 12:01 a.m., Monday, March 2.
- #Approx. funds remaining: $84.60.
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- #And God signed on at 12:00 a.m., Tuesday, March 3.
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- :Let the waters under heaven be gathered together unto one place
- and let the dry land appear and
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- #Too many characters in string specification! Try again.
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- :Create dryland.
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- #Done!
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- :Run dryland.
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- #And God created Earth and Seas. And God saw there were 0 errors.
- #And God signed off at 12:01 a.m., Tuesday, March 3.
- #Approx. funds remaining: $65.00.
-
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- #And God signed on at 12:00 a.m., Wednesday, March 4.
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- :Create lights in the firmament to divide the day from the night.
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- #Unspecified type. Try again!
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- :Create sunmoonstars.
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- #And God created Sun, Moon, Stars. And God saw there were
- 0 errors.
- #And God signed off at 12:01 a.m., Wednesday, March 4.
- #Approx. funds remaining: $54:00.
-
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- #And God signed on at 12:00 a.m., Thursday, March 5.
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- :Create fish.
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- #Done.
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- :Create fowl.
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- #Done.
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- :Run fish'nfowl.
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- #And God created the great seamonsters and every living creature
- that creepeth wherewith the waters swarmed after its kind and
- every winged fowl after its kind. 0 errors.
- #And God signed off at 12:01 a.m., Thursday, March 5.
- #Approx. funds remaining: $45.00.
-
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- #And God signed on at 12:00 a.m., Friday, March 6.
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- :Create cattle.
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- #Done.
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- :Create creepy things.
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- #Done.
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- :Now let us make man in our image.
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- #Unspecified type! Try again.
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- :Create man.
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- #Done.
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- :Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth and subdue it
- and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over of the fowl
- of the air and over every living thing that creepeth upon the
- earth.
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- #Too many command operands! Try again.
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- :Run multiplication.
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- #Execution terminated. 6 errors.
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- :Insert breath.
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- #O.K.
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- :Run multiplication.
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- #Execution terminated. 5 errors.
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- :Move man to Garden of Eden.
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- #File Garden of Eden does not exist.
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- :Create Gard.En.
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- #Done.
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- :Move man to Gard.En.
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- #O.K.
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- :Run multiplication.
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- #Execution terminated. 4 errors.
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- :Copy woman from man.
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- #O.K.
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- :Run multiplication.
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- #Execution terminated. 3 errors.
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- :Insert woman into man.
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- #Illegal parameters. Try again!
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- :Insert man into woman.
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- #O.K.
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- :Run multiplication.
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- #Execution terminated. 2 errors.
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- :Create desire.
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- #Done.
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- :Run multiplication.
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- #And God saw man'nwoman being fruitful and multiplying in the
- Gard.En.
- #Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
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- :Create freewill.
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- #Done.
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- :Run freewill.
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- #And God saw man'nwoman being fruitful and multiplying in the
- Gard.En.
- #Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
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- :Undo desire.
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- #Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
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- :Destroy freewill.
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- #Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
- #Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
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- :Help!
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- #Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
- #Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
- #Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
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- :Create Treeofknowledge.
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- #And God saw man'nwoman being fruitful and multiplying in the
- Gard.En.
- #Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
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- :Create good'nevil.
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- #Done.
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- :Activate evil.
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- #And God saw he had created shame.
- #Warning: System error in sector E95. Man'nwoman not in Gard.En.
- #1 errors.
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- :Scan Gard.En. for man'nwoman.
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- #Man'nwoman cannot be located. Try again!
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- :Search Gard.En. for man'nwoman.
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- #Search failed.
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- :Delete shame.
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- #Shame cannot be deleted once evil has been activated.
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- :Destroy freewill.
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- #Freewill an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
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- :Stop!
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- #Unrecognizable command. Try again.
-
- :Break
- :Break
- :Break
-
- #ATTENTION ALL USERS ATTENTION ALL USERS: COMPUTER GOING DOWN FOR
- REGULAR DAY OF MAINTENANCE AND REST IN FIVE MINUTES. PLEASE
- SIGN OFF.
-
- :Create new world.
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- #You have exceeded your allotted file space. You must destroy
- old files before new ones can be created.
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- :Destroy earth.
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- #Destroy earth. Please confirm.
-
- :Destroy earth confirmed.
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- #COMPUTER DOWN. COMPUTER DOWN. SERVICES WILL RESUME ON SUNDAY
- MARCH 8 AT 6:00 A.M. YOU MUST SIGN OFF NOW!
-
- #And God signed off at 11:59 p.m., Friday, March 6.
- #And God he had zero funds remaining.
    Forwarded from Megan Jones.