The First Realizations that You’re Not in College Anymore.

  1. At 6 am, you’re waking up instead of going to bed.
  2. Beers at lunch get you reprimanded.
  3. College sweatshirts are ‘casual’ instead of dress up.
  4. Your parents charge rent.
  5. The four food groups are no longer beer, pizza, pot and cereal.
  6. It’s ‘getting late’ when it’s 9:30 p.m.
  7. Three words: Student Loan Payments.
  8. You make thousands of dollars a year — and still can’t afford that dream Porsche.
  9. You start eyeing the Light Beer Section appreciatively.
  10. Pickup football games mean that at least one person will be in the hospital by game’s end.
  11. THEN, discussing with your friends: GPA’s, spring break plans, and tonsil hockey
    NOW: mutual funds, interest rates, and wedding plans.
  12. Sleeping on the couch is a no-no.
  13. Naps are no longer available between noon and 6 p.m.
  14. Sneakers are now ‘weekend shoes.’
  15. Dinner and a movie: The whole date instead of the beginning of one.
  16. Pregnancy now brings thought of tax deductions instead of coronaries.
  17. Jack and Cokes become Dewers on the Rocks.
  18. The only drugs you take are Tums and Tylenol.
  19. 1The weak single you hit in the intramural softball game is now remembered as a Varsity dinger for the League Championship.
  20. You get your news from sources other than USA Today, ESPN SportsCenter and MTV News.
  21. Random hook-ups are no longer socially acceptable.
  22. You wear more ties in a week than you even owned while taking in college.
  23. You find yourself reminiscing fondly of 2-hour Calculus exams.
  24. You empathize with the characters from “Friends.”
  25. Metabolism slowdown.
  26. Wine appreciation expands beyond Boone’s and Mad Dog.
  27. You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
  28. Your salary is less than your tuition.
  29. Your potted plants stay alive.
  30. Shacking in a twin-sized bed seems absurd.
  31. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
  32. You have to pay your own credit card bill.
  33. You haven't seen a soap opera in over a year.
  34. 8:00a.m. is not early.
  35. You have to file for your own taxes.
  36. You hear your favorite song on the elevator at work.
  37. You're not carded anymore.
  38. You carry an umbrella.
  39. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook-up and break-up.
  40. You start watching the weather channel.
  41. Jeans and baseball caps aren't staples in your wardrobe.
  42. You can no longer take shots, and smoking gives you a sinus attack.
  43. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.
  44. You stop confusing 401K plan with 10K run.
  45. You go to parties that the police don't raid.
  46. Adults feel comfortable telling jokes about sex in front of you.
  47. You don't know what time Wendy's closes anymore.
  48. Your car insurance goes down.
  49. You refer to college students as kids.
  50. You drink wine, scotch and martinis instead of beer, bourbon, and rum.
  51. Your parents start making casual remarks about grandchildren.
  52. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of Taco Bell.
  53. Grocery lists actually contain relatively healthy food.
  54. When drinking, you say at least once per night, 'I just can't put it down the same as I used to'.
  55. Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work, not video games.
  56. You're actually willing to pay a bit more to drink in a bar that's not full of '21-year-old kids.'
  57. Golf is beginning to seem a lot less silly.
    Forwarded from Mike Zucker and Ronald Poserina, Jr.