- When it appears that you have killed the monster, never check to
see if its really dead.
- If you find that your house is built upon or near a cemetary, was
once a church used for black masses, had previous inhabitants who
went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, or had
inhabitants who performed satanic practices in your house move away
- Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.
- Do not search the basement, especially if the power has gone out.
- If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which
they should not know, or if they speak to you using a voice which is
other than their own, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot
of grief in the long run. NOTE: It will probably take several rounds
to kill them, so be prepared.
- When you have the benefit of numbers, never pair off and go it
- As a general rule, dont solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.
- Never stand in, on, above, below, beside, or anywhere near a grave,
tomb, crypt, mausoleum, or other house of the dead.
- If youre searching for something which caused a noise and find out
that its just the cat, leave the room immediately if you value your
- If appliances start operating by themselves, move out.
- Do not take anything from the dead.
- If you find a town which looks deserted, its probably for a reason.
Take the hint and stay away.
- Dont fool with recombinant DNA technology unless youre sure you
know what youre doing.
- If youre running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at
least twice, more if you are of the female persuasion. Also note
that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely
shambling along, its still moving fast enough to catch up with you.
- If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic
behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes,
increasing hairiness, and so on, get away from them as fast as
- Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are
listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (youre in
trouble if you recognize this one), the Bermuda Triangle, or any small
town in Maine.
- If your car runs out of gas at night, do not go to the nearby
deserted-looking house to phone for help.
- Beware of strangers bearing tools such as chainsaws, staple guns,
hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane
torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any devices made from deceased