FROM THE KITCHEN
- Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.
- Lost: Small apricot poodle - Reward. Neutered, like one
of the family.
- Lost: Beagle, partly blind, hard of hearing, castrated;
to the name of Lucky.
- For Sale: Eight puppies from a German Shepherd and an
- For Sale: Great Dames.
- Dog For Sale: Eats anything; especially fond of children.
- Pit Bull For Sale: Owner deceased.
- For Sale, three canaries of undermined sex.
- A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly
served by waitresses in appetizing forms.
- Creative daily specials, including select offerings of
foul, fresh vegetables, salads, quiche. 7 ounces of
choice sirloin steak, boiled to your likeness and
with golden fried onion rings.
- Dinner Special - Chicken or Beef $2.25; Turkey $2.35;
- For sale: An antique desk suitable for lady with thick
legs and large drawers.
- Four-poster bed, 101 years old, Perfect for antique lover.
- Vacation Special: have your home exterminated.
- If you think you've seen everything in Paris, visit the
Lachasis Cemetery. It boasts such immortals as Moliere,
Jean de la Fontain, and Chopin.
- Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the
Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all
hotel has bowling alleys, tennis courts, comfortable
and other athletic facilities.
- Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in
- Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce
- Wanted: Part-time married girls for soda fountain in
- Wanted: Chambermaid in rectory. Love in, $200 a month;
- Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head
and Blue Cross.
- Wanted: Mother's helper, peasant working conditions.
Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced
meals, and smacks included.
- Wanted: Widower with school-age children requires
assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of
contributing to growth of family.
- Wanted: 3-year-old teacher needed for preschool;
- Wanted: Preparer of food. Must be dependable, like the
business and be willing to get hands dirty.
- Man, honest. Will take anything.
- Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing
- Wanted: Haircutter. Excellent growth potential.
- Wanted: Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or
- Wanted: Hard working, experienced farm woman. Household
and field work; know how to cook; must own tractor -
photo of tractor.
- Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an
pair to take home, too.
- Ears pierced - while you wait!
- No matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle
make it really repellent.
- Have several very old dresses from grandmother in
- Save regularly in our bank. You'll never reget it.
- This is the model home for your future. It was panned
Homes and Gardens.
- We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it
- For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.
- For Sale: Diamonds $20; microscopes $15.
- Offer expires December 31 or while supplies last.
- Stock up and save. Limit: one.
- We build bodies that last a lifetime.
- See ladies blouses. 50% Off!
- Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so
that lots of women wear nothing else.
- Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops!
- Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here
- For sale: A quilted high chair that can be made into a
potty chair, rocking horse, refrigerator, spring coat,
and fur collar.
- Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.
- 20 dozen bottles of excellent Old Tawny Port, sold to
charges, the owner having lost sight of, and bottled by
- Toaster: A gift that every member of the family
Automatically burns toast.
- Christmas tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find
- Modular Sofas. Only $299 For rest or fore play.
- Auto Repair Service. Free pickup and delivery. Try us
you'll never go anywhere again.
- Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round
- Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.
- And now, the Superstore - unequaled in size, unmatched
variety, unrivaled inconvenience.
- We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in
home for $1.
- Ladies and gentlemen, now you can have a bikini for a
- When you are thirsty, try 7-Up, the refreshing drink in
green bottle with the big 7 on it and u-p after.
- Tune in next week for another series of classical music
programs from the Canadian Broadcorping Castration.
- Illiterate? Write for free information.