136 Redneck Jokes.

  1. How do you know a Redneck? The child calls her father "Uncle Daddy"
  2. Redneck love -- It's a Family affair.
  3. Redneck marriage proposal.........YER WHUT!!??????
  4. Redneck: (n); a person whose family tree doesn't fork.
  5. You are a Redneck if a 6-pack and a bug zapper makes quality entertainment.
  6. You are a Redneck if after making love you ask to roll down the car window.
  7. You are a Redneck if common household phrase is "Somebody jiggle that".
  8. You are a Redneck if Jack Daniels makes your list of admired people.
  9. You are a Redneck if kudzu is in your family crest.
  10. You are a Redneck if less than half the cars you own run.
  11. You are a Redneck if Redman Chewing Tobacco sends you a Christmas card.
  12. You are a Redneck if taxidermist bill exceeds annual income.
  13. You are a Redneck if the primary color of your car is "bondo".
  14. You are a Redneck if the taillight covers on your car are made of tape.
  15. You are a Redneck if there's a wasp nest in your living room.
  16. You are a Redneck if truckers tell your wife to watch her language.
  17. You are a Redneck if while mowing lawn, you find three cars.
  18. You are a Redneck if you answer the door with a baseball bat in your hand.
  19. You are a Redneck if you can have sex without spilling your beer.
  20. You are a Redneck if you can't visit relatives without your car getting muddy
  21. You are a Redneck if you come back from the dump with more than you took.
  22. You are a Redneck if you consider "Outdoor Life" deep reading.
  23. You are a Redneck if you consider a family reunion a chance to meet women.
  24. You are a Redneck if you do most of your shopping at a truck stop.
  25. You are a Redneck if you drove to elementary school.
  26. You are a Redneck if you entertain with tapes of championship bowling.
  27. You are a Redneck if you entertain yourself for an hour with a fly swatter.
  28. You are a Redneck if you ever lost a tooth opening a beer bottle.
  29. You are a Redneck if you get an estimate from the barber to cut your hair.
  30. You are a Redneck if you get Odor-Eaters as a christmas present.
  31. You are a Redneck if you get your oil changed by your barber.
  32. You are a Redneck if you had to remove the Marlboro to kiss the bride.
  33. You are a Redneck if you have `dress' boots.
  34. You are a Redneck if you have a civil war chess set.
  35. You are a Redneck if you have a Hefty bag for car window.
  36. You are a Redneck if you have a Hefty Bag instead of a passenger window.
  37. You are a Redneck if you have a picture of Elvis on velvet...in plain sight.
  38. You are a Redneck if you have a velvet bedspread.
  39. You are a Redneck if you have any relatives named Elmer or Jed.
  40. You are a Redneck if you have more appliances in the yard than in the house.
  41. You are a Redneck if you have more than twelve dogs on your porch.
  42. You are a Redneck if you have more than two brothers named Bubba or Junior.
  43. You are a Redneck if you have to move the transmission to take a bath.
  44. You are a Redneck if you hold a frog and _it_ worries about getting warts.
  45. You are a Redneck if you keep your thermostat on 85 in the winter.
  46. You are a Redneck if you own a homemade fur coat.
  47. You are a Redneck if you own more TVs than books.
  48. You are a Redneck if you own 3 TVs and only 2 books.
  49. You are a Redneck if you prefer car keys to Q-tips.
  50. You are a Redneck if you prefer to _walk_ the excess length off your jeans.
  51. You are a Redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.
  52. You are a Redneck if you quit your job to avoid paying child support.
  53. You are a Redneck if you record WWF Wrestling while you're at work.
  54. You are a Redneck if you serve Gallo and colby at your cheese & wine parties.
  55. You are a Redneck if you show your beltbuckle as an ID.
  56. You are a Redneck if you skipped school in the 8th grade to vote.
  57. You are a Redneck if you think BMW is the call letters for a radio station.
  58. You are a Redneck if you think cow tipping should be an Olympic sport.
  59. You are a Redneck if you think Ernest is funny.
  60. You are a Redneck if you think heaven looks a lot like Daytona Beach, Florida.
  61. You are a Redneck if you think Volvo is part of a woman's anatomy.
  62. You are a Redneck if you think your boyfriend hits you 'because he cares'.
  63. You are a Redneck if you use more than one can of hairspray per week.
  64. You are a Redneck if you voted Tammy Bakker as `Year's Best Dressed Woman'
  65. You are a Redneck if you want to be a DJ when you grow up.
  66. You are a Redneck if you're arrested for getting relief in an ice machine.
  67. You are a Redneck if you're holding a beer in your wedding picture.
  68. You are a Redneck if you're too drunk to fish.
  69. You are a Redneck if you're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.
  70. You are a Redneck if you've ever BBQ'd Spam on the grill.
  71. You are a Redneck if you've ever bought a used cap.
  72. You are a Redneck if you've ever cut your grass and found a car.
  73. You are a Redneck if you've ever given rat traps as a gift. <-{ROFL!}
  74. You are a Redneck if you've ever raked leaves in your kitchen.
  75. You are a Redneck if you've ever rolled your riding lawn mower.
  76. You are a Redneck if you've ever shot a deer from inside your house.
  77. You are a Redneck if you've ever used lard in bed.
  78. You are a Redneck if you've ever vacationed in a rest area.
  79. You are a Redneck if you've ever worn a cowboy hat to church.
  80. You are a Redneck if you've ever worn a tube top to a wedding.
  81. You are a Redneck if you've never paid for a haircut.
  82. You are a Redneck if you've spray painted your girl's name on an overpass.
  83. You are a Redneck if you've worn something to church having sequins on it.
  84. You are a Redneck if your all-time favorite movie is "Cannonball Run".
  85. You are a Redneck if your appearance got you fired from a construction job.
  86. You are a Redneck if your baby's favorite teething ring is a garden hose.
  87. You are a Redneck if your baby's first words are "Attention K-Mart shoppers".
  88. You are a Redneck if your belt buckle is heavier than 4 lbs.
  89. You are a Redneck if your best suit is a Budweiser cap & an orange vest.
  90. You are a Redneck if your bother-in-law is also your uncle.
  91. You are a Redneck if your bumper stick says "My other car is a combine".
  92. You are a Redneck if your car has never had a full tank of gas.
  93. You are a Redneck if your car's rear tires are twice as wide as the front.
  94. You are a Redneck if your chain to your wallet is as big as your dog chain.
  95. You are a Redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
  96. You are a Redneck if your dog can smoke a cigarette.
  97. You are a Redneck if your dog sleeps closer to you than your wife does.
  98. You are a Redneck if your father is in the same grade as you.
  99. You are a Redneck if your father made your personalized license plate.
  100. You are a Redneck if your favorite Chinese meal comes from "LaChoy".
  101. You are a Redneck if your first grandchild is born on your 26th birthday.
  102. You are a Redneck if your funeral has more pickup trucks than cars.
  103. You are a Redneck if your Home Library is a Bible and the Farmers' Almanac.
  104. You are a Redneck if your home needs a hitch.
  105. You are a Redneck if your house warming involves removing the tires.
  106. You are a Redneck if your idea of health food is pork rinds.
  107. You are a Redneck if your kid takes a siphon hose to "Show & Tell".
  108. You are a Redneck if your kids are described as "dumb as a brick".
  109. You are a Redneck if your Levi's have Skoal can prints on the pockets.
  110. You are a Redneck if your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
  111. You are a Redneck if your living room sofa is covered by a foam backed throw.
  112. You are a Redneck if your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.
  113. You are a Redneck if your mother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
  114. You are a Redneck if your neighbors have ever asked to borrow the lightbulb.
  115. You are a Redneck if your next family reunion is a chance to meet girls.
  116. You are a Redneck if your pocket knife's been referred to as "Exhibit A".
  117. You are a Redneck if your porch collapses, and it kills more than seven dogs.
  118. You are a Redneck if your primary source of income is the pawn shop.
  119. You are a Redneck if your richest relative's house needs the tires removed.
  120. You are a Redneck if your school fight song was "Dueling Banjos".
  121. You are a Redneck if your Sis's nude dancing was the family reunion highlight.
  122. You are a Redneck if your sister subscribes to "Soldier of Fortune" magazine.
  123. You are a Redneck if your taxidermist is on 'speed-dial'.
  124. You are a Redneck if your truck cost more than your house.
  125. You are a Redneck if your van has curtains and your house doesn't.
  126. You are a Redneck if your watch band is wider than any book you've read
  127. You are a Redneck if your wedding looks more like a family reunion.
  128. You are a Redneck if your wife ever burned out an electric razor.
  129. You are a Redneck if your wife has a beer belly, and you find it attractive.
  130. You are a Redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.
  131. You are a Redneck if your wife's best shoes have steel toes.
  132. You are a Redneck if your wife's job requires her to wear an orange vest.
  133. You are a Redneck if your will states all your posessions be sold at auction.
  134. You are a Redneck if your 9x9 living room has a Spanish decor.
  135. What is Redneck foreplay? (Nudge) `Are you awake?'
  136. What is Redneck foreplay? `Get in the truck, bitch.'