Literacy ain't everything
Ya want fries wit' dat?
Come freeze your butt off
11,623 Eskimos can't be wrong
Winter home to 150,000 snowbirds
At least we're not Mississippi
Litterasy ain't everything
The Granola State
Nobody's actually from here
Fast reloading lanes available
The really long state
As seen on TV
Too wimpy to cross the mountains so we stopped here
Official home of the winter ski bunny
If you don't ski, don't bother
Way too close to New York
Like Massachusetts, only dirtier and with less character
You'll need a map to find us
So close to Washington you can smell it
The Gunshine State
Elephant Graveyard; where the old Republicans go to die
Senior citizen discounts available
Ask us about our grandkids
Home of the Rednecks
Gateway to Florida
Confederate money welcome
We put the "Fun" in Fundamental Extremism
Sure, we've got Interstates... drive on over
Book 'em Danno
Tom Selleck, Jack Lord, Don Ho - Paradise!
Come, get lei-ed
Haka tiki mou sha'ami leeki toru (Death to mainland scum,
but leave your money)
Ain't nothing here
We don't care if you spell potato with an "e"
Land of a billion "eyes"
More than just potatoes...Well, okay, we're not, but the potatoes sure
are real good
Land of the voting dead
Gateway to Iowa
Home of David Letterman
2 billion years tidal-wave-free
Just east of Omaha
It's easy to spell
Land of James T. Kirk
First of the rectangle states
Hayfever capital of the Midwest
Dole slept here
There's no place like home
Ya want flat, we got flat
Tobacco is a vegetable
We're all related
Gateway to Nashville
We're not all drunk Cajun wackos, but that's our tourism campaign
Swim the beautiful Bayou
Cancer Alley's just a name, and names will never hurt you
You can spit on Canada from here
A thinking man's Delaware
If it weren't for Washington, you couldn't find us
Our taxes are lower than Sweden's (for most tax brackets)
Home of the young girls from Nantucket, also the home of Ted Kennedy,
First line of defense from the Canadians
Land of the free, home of the Buick
Not Sweden, but we try to act like it
Sure beats Canada
Come feel better about your own state
We're lucky we can spell it
Why would you want to come here?
Your Federal Flood Relief tax dollars at work
Gateway to Kansas
Here's mine, Show Me yours
We're better than Illinois
Land of the Big Sky, the Unabomber, and very little else
We've got lots of 10'x10' shacks in the woods
It's where you're wanted.
At least our cows are sane.
Ask about our State Motto Contest
More corn than Kansas
Go to Kansas, turn north
Whores and poker
More weirdos than Alaska (warmer too)
2 words - Death Valley
3:5 you'll leave broke
We have our own nuclear testing site
Go away and leave us alone
Like Old Hampshire, only newer
About as exciting as Vermont
You want a %$#@!*& motto? I gotcher %$#@!*& motto right here!
You have the right to remain silent,
You have the right to an attorney...
Tell 'em Guido sent ya
Lizards make excellent pets
We have reservations
Alien Welcome Center - Roswell
At least we're not New Jersey!
We're more than a big city; we're a state
Like we CARE about a motto
English spoken here; sometimes
Tobacco is a vegetable
Five million people; Fifteen last names
We're bigger than South Carolina
Um... We have... um... dinosaur bones? Yeah, dinosaur bones!
The OTHER South Dakota
Don't judge us by Cleveland
Proud polluters of Lake Erie
We're easy to spell
Just like the play, only no singing
We're OK, you're NOT!
I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Toto
Spotted Owl: It's what's for dinner
As pretty as California but not as weird
We're not named after a musical instrument
You can see the sunset from here
Cook with coal
Free lube job with oil change
We're not really an island
Size ain't everything
Nobody famous came from Rhode Island
Remember the Civil War? We didn't actually surrender!
Just south of North Carolina
Closer than North Dakota
The Educashun State
Thank goodness we've still got Elvis
A great fixer-upper
Se Habla Inglés
See, EVERYTHING is bigger in Texas!
Our Jesus is better than your Jesus
At least our sheep can't talk
Bet ya can't name 2 of our towns
Who says government stiffs and slackjawed yokels can't mix?
Please don't confuse us with West Virginia!
Help! We're overrun by nerds and slackers!
We like our state, so STAY OUT!
One big happy family. Really!
Where "family values" has a different meaning
Come cut our cheese
Land of funny accents.
Where men are lonely and sheep are scared