Rejected U.S. State Mottoes.

ALABAMA:
Literacy ain't everything
Ya want fries wit' dat?

ALASKA:
Come freeze your butt off
11,623 Eskimos can't be wrong

ARIZONA:
Winter home to 150,000 snowbirds
Dehyd-rific!

ARKANSAS:
At least we're not Mississippi
Litterasy ain't everything

CALIFORNIA:
The Granola State
Nobody's actually from here
Fast reloading lanes available
The really long state
As seen on TV

COLORADO:
Too wimpy to cross the mountains so we stopped here
Official home of the winter ski bunny
If you don't ski, don't bother

CONNECTICUT:
Way too close to New York
Like Massachusetts, only dirtier and with less character

DELAWARE:
You'll need a map to find us
So close to Washington you can smell it

FLORIDA:
The Gunshine State
Elephant Graveyard; where the old Republicans go to die
Senior citizen discounts available
Ask us about our grandkids

GEORGIA:
Home of the Rednecks
Gateway to Florida
Confederate money welcome
We put the "Fun" in Fundamental Extremism

HAWAII:
Sure, we've got Interstates... drive on over
Book 'em Danno
Tom Selleck, Jack Lord, Don Ho - Paradise!
Come, get lei-ed
Haka tiki mou sha'ami leeki toru — (Death to mainland scum, but leave your money)

IDAHO:
Ain't nothing here
We don't care if you spell potato with an "e"
Land of a billion "eyes"
More than just potatoes...Well, okay, we're not, but the potatoes sure are real good

ILLINOIS:
Land of the voting dead
Gateway to Iowa

INDIANA:
Home of David Letterman
2 billion years tidal-wave-free

IOWA:
Just east of Omaha
It's easy to spell
Land of James T. Kirk

KANSAS:
First of the rectangle states
Hayfever capital of the Midwest
Dole slept here
There's no place like home
Ya want flat, we got flat

KENTUCKY:
Tobacco is a vegetable
We're all related
Gateway to Nashville

LOUISIANA:
We're not all drunk Cajun wackos, but that's our tourism campaign
Swim the beautiful Bayou
Cancer Alley's just a name, and names will never hurt you

MAINE:
Cheap lobster
For Sale
You can spit on Canada from here

MARYLAND:
A thinking man's Delaware
If it weren't for Washington, you couldn't find us

MASSACHUSETTS:
Our taxes are lower than Sweden's (for most tax brackets)
Home of the young girls from Nantucket, also the home of Ted Kennedy, hmmmm...

MICHIGAN:
First line of defense from the Canadians
Land of the free, home of the Buick

MINNESOTA:
For sale
Not Sweden, but we try to act like it
Sure beats Canada

MISSISSIPPI:
Come feel better about your own state
We're lucky we can spell it
Why would you want to come here?

MISSOURI:
Your Federal Flood Relief tax dollars at work
Gateway to Kansas
Here's mine, Show Me yours
We're better than Illinois

MONTANA:
Land of the Big Sky, the Unabomber, and very little else
We've got lots of 10'x10' shacks in the woods
It's where you're wanted.
At least our cows are sane.

NEBRASKA:
Ask about our State Motto Contest
More corn than Kansas
Go to Kansas, turn north

NEVADA:
Whores and poker
More weirdos than Alaska (warmer too)
2 words - Death Valley
3:5 you'll leave broke
We have our own nuclear testing site

NEW HAMPSHIRE:
Go away and leave us alone
Like Old Hampshire, only newer
About as exciting as Vermont

NEW JERSEY:
You want a %$#@!*& motto? I gotcher %$#@!*& motto right here!
You have the right to remain silent,
You have the right to an attorney...
Tell 'em Guido sent ya

NEW MEXICO:
Lizards make excellent pets
We have reservations
Alien Welcome Center - Roswell

NEW YORK:
At least we're not New Jersey!
We're more than a big city; we're a state
Like we CARE about a motto
English spoken here; sometimes

NORTH CAROLINA:
Tobacco is a vegetable
Five million people; Fifteen last names
We're bigger than South Carolina

NORTH DAKOTA:
Um... We have... um... dinosaur bones? Yeah, dinosaur bones!
The OTHER South Dakota

OHIO:
Don't judge us by Cleveland
Proud polluters of Lake Erie
We're easy to spell

OKLAHOMA:
Just like the play, only no singing
We're OK, you're NOT!
I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Toto

OREGON:
Spotted Owl: It's what's for dinner
As pretty as California but not as weird
We're not named after a musical instrument
You can see the sunset from here

PENNSYLVANIA:
Cook with coal
Free lube job with oil change

RHODE ISLAND:
We're not really an island
Size ain't everything
Nobody famous came from Rhode Island

SOUTH CAROLINA:
Remember the Civil War? We didn't actually surrender!
Just south of North Carolina

SOUTH DAKOTA:
Closer than North Dakota

TENNESSEE:
The Educashun State
Thank goodness we've still got Elvis
A great fixer-upper

TEXAS:
Se Habla Inglés
See, EVERYTHING is bigger in Texas!

UTAH:
Our Jesus is better than your Jesus
At least our sheep can't talk

VERMONT:
Yep
Bet ya can't name 2 of our towns

VIRGINIA:
Who says government stiffs and slackjawed yokels can't mix?
Please don't confuse us with West Virginia!

WASHINGTON:
Help! We're overrun by nerds and slackers!
We like our state, so STAY OUT!

WEST VIRGINIA:
One big happy family. Really!
Where "family values" has a different meaning

WISCONSIN:
Come cut our cheese
Land of funny accents.
Say "Cheeeese"

WYOMING:
Wynot?
Where men are lonely and sheep are scared
    Forwarded from Robert Kissell and Dave Wisneski.