I saw a lady at work today putting a credit card into her floppy disk
drive and pulling it out very quickly. I inquired as to what she was
doing and she said she was shopping on the Internet, and they asked
for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM “thingy.”
I worked with an individual who plugged his power strip back into
itself, and for the life of him could not understand why his computer
would not turn on.
First Person: “Do you know anything about this fax machine?”
Second Person: “A little. What’s wrong?”
First Person: “Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient called back to
say all she received was a cover-sheet and a blank page. I tried it
again, and the same thing happened.”
Second Person: “How did you load the sheet?”
First Person: “It’s a pretty sensitive memo, and I didn’t want anyone
else to read it by accident, so I folded it so only the recipient
would read it.”
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. “Do
you need some help?” I asked. She replied, “I knew I should have
replaced the battery in this remote door unlocker. Now I can’t
get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience
store) would have a battery for this?”
”Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm too?” I asked.
”No, just this remote thingy.” She answered, handing it (and the car
keys attached to it) to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the
door, I replied, “Why don’t you drive over there and check about the
batteries...it’s a long walk.”
Tech Support: “What does the screen say now?”
Person: It says, ‘Hit ENTER when ready.’”
Tech Support: “Well?”
Person: “How do I know when it’s ready?”
Several years ago we had an intern who was none too swift. One day he
was typing and turned to a secretary and said, “I’m almost out of
typing paper. What do I do?” “Just use copier machine paper,” she told
him. With that, the intern took his last remaining blank piece of paper,
put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five blank copies.
One of our servers crashed. I was watching our new system
administrator trying to restore it. He inserted a CD and needed to type
a path name to a directory named “i386.” He started to type it and
paused, asking me “Where’s the key for that line thing?” I asked what he
was talking about, and he said, “You know the one that looks like an
upside-down exclamation mark.”
I replied, “You mean the letter ‘i’ ?”
He said, “Yeah, that’s it!”
I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was
towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of
repair
and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in the movie
“Twister.” I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that
the driver had set the cruise control, then went into the back to make
a sandwich.