58 Metaphors for Stupidity.

  1. All foam, no beer.
  2. The butter has slipped off his pancake.
  3. The cheese slid off his cracker.
  4. Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
  5. Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.
  6. Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
  7. He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down
  8. As smart as bait.
  9. Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.
  10. Her sewing machine's out of thread.
  11. One Froot Loop shy of a full bowl.
  12. Her antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.
  13. His belt doesn't go through all the loops.
  14. Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
  15. Receiver is off the hook.
  16. Not wired to code.
  17. Skylight leaks a little.
  18. Her slinky's kinked.
  19. Too much yardage between the goal posts.
  20. During evolution his ancestors were in the control group.
  21. Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
  22. Is so dense, light bends around her.
  23. If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.
  24. Stand very close to her, you can hear the ocean.
  25. She stayed on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long
  26. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
  27. A few clowns short of a circus.
  28. An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
  29. Has an IQ of 2 but... it takes 3 to grunt.
  30. Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.
  31. Chimney's clogged.
  32. Sharp as a bag of wet mice.
  33. Her sewing machine's out of thread.
  34. If he had another brain, it would be lonely.
  35. In the pinball game of life, his flippers were a little farther apart than most.
  36. He's a few sandwiches short of a picnic.
  37. His elevator doesn't stop at every floor.
  38. He's not wrapped too tight.
  39. He's a few beers short of a six pack.
  40. The lights are on but nobody's home.
  41. She's a few French fries short of a happy meal.
  42. He's a few singers short of a barbershop quartet.
  43. One taco short of a combo plate.
  44. Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.
  45. A room temperature IQ.
  46. Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold them together.
  47. A photographic memory, but the lens cover is glued on.
  48. A prime candidate for natural deselection.
  49. Bright as Alaska in December.
  50. During evolution his ancestors were in the control group.
  51. Fell out of the family tree.
  52. Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
  53. Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
  54. If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
  55. If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
  56. It's hard to believe that he beat 100,000 other sperm.
  57. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, but he just gargled.
  58. Takes him an hour and a half to watch "60 Minutes".
    Forwarded from David Sonshine and Dave Wisneski.