If Noah's Ark Was Built According to Air Force Procedure.

....And the Lord said unto Noah: "Where is the ark which I have commanded thee to build ?"

And Noah said unto the Lord: "Verily, of my seven carpenters, two are TDY, one is on leave, one is short and not worth a denaurius, and the other three have not yet reached their five level in boat building. Of a Truth, the Gopher-wood supplier with whom we contracted according to appropriated funds guidelines hath let me down--yea, even though the gopher-wood hath been on order for nigh upon 12 months. What can I do, O Lord? I am undone."

And God said unto Noah: "I want that ark finished even after seven days and seven nights."

And Noah said: "It shall be so, Lord."

And it came not to be so. And the Lord said unto Noah: "What seemeth to be the trouble this time ?"

And Noah said unto the Lord: "O Lord, be merciful unto me, for my O.P.R. is in jeopardy. Surely thou knowest that being project officer does not mean thou canst simply command and it is done."

And God said: "How well I knowest !"

And Noah said: "Hear, O Lord, my woes. Mine civilian sub-contractor hath gone bankrupt. The pitch which Thou commandest me to put on the inside and outside of the ark is unavailable due to budget cutbacks. The plumbing work which went to the lowest bidder hath sprung a leak and I cannot locate him. Shem, my son, who helpeth me on the ark side of the business, hath formed a pop group with his brothers, Ham and Japheth. Woe is me !"

And the Lord grew angry and said: "And what about the animals, the male and female of every sort that I ordered to come unto thee to keep their seed alive upon the face of the earth ?"

And Noah said: "They were delivered unto the wrong address, but should arriveth on Friday."

And the Lord said: "What about the unicorns, and the fowls of the air by sevens ?"

And Noah said: "Lord, unicorns are a discontinued line: Thou canst not get them for love nor money. And fowls of the air are sold only in lots of 10. Lord, you knowest how it is.

And the Lord in his wisdom said: "Noah, my son, I knowest. Why else dost thou think I wouldst cause a flood to descend upon the earth ?"

    Forwarded from Ronald Poserina, Sr.