Male Urinary Etiquette Test.

The following is the urinal configuration in a sample men's toilet. An X below the number will indicate "in use." For example, in this diagram, urinals 3 and 6 are occupied:
123456
XXXXXX
You are to identify correctly, based on urinal etiquette, at which stall you are to correctly stand. Good luck!
    Easy questions

  1. 123456
    XXXXXX
  2. 123456
    XXXXXX

    Tricky questions

  3. 123456
    XXXXXX
  4. 123456
    XXXXXX

    Subtle, tricky, but important-to-know question

  5. 123456
    XXXXXX

    Very tricky question

  6. 123456
    XXXXXX

The

answers

are

given

below.

Scroll

down

after

you

have

recorded

your

responses.

10

9

8

7

6

5

4

3

2

1

  1. 123456
    XXXXXX
    Correct answer: 6. This is the ONLY answer and every man instinctively knows this.

  2. 123456
    XXXXXX
    Correct answer: 6. Stall 5 is almost acceptable, but you run a greater risk of being next to someone who arrives later.

  3. 123456
    XXXXXX
    Correct answer: 1 or 6. Choosing 2, 3, 4, or 5 tacitly says "I don't mind if someone stands next to me," a very dubious message to be putting out.

  4. 123456
    XXXXXX
    Correct answer: 1. You're stuck being next to at least ONE other, so you minimize the impact and get a wall on your left. NEVER go between TWO guys except under extreme circumstances such as stadium toilets when under an advanced state of inebriation and desperation.

  5. 123456
    XXXXXX
    Correct answer: 4. Choosing 1 or 3 "couples" you with the guy in stall 2 and we wouldn't want THAT now, would we? This differs from question 4 in such a subtle way that cannot be explained. Suffice to say, only men would understand!

  6. 123456
    XXXXXX
    Correct answer: NONE! In this case the only option is to use a doored stall. Ensure however that you only half shut the door of the stall so that others do not think you have something to hide. If there is no doored stall available then you must go straight to the mirror and pretend to comb your hair or straighten a tie until the urinals "open up" a bit more. Note that use of a hand basin is an acceptable alternative to a doored stall at stadium toilets and nightclubs.
Scoring:

6Your Urinary Etiquette is of the highest order and you can confidently deal with any urinary conundrum
3-5You know the basics, but are flummoxed by the difficult leading to much time spent combing hair and adjusting ties until a simpler urinary combination occurs.
0-2You are unable to go into a public male urinal without the danger of sudden and immediate death. Advise staying at home at all times or if forced to go out wear an appropriate length of hospice and attached plastic bag at all times.

A few other golden rules in the Unwritten Code of the Urinals:

  • NO talking, unless it's a good friend... but even then, keep it terse and unemotional.
  • Absolutely NO touching of anyone other than yourself. A touch of another's elbow while shaking off afterwards is an unforgivable error.
  • Look at the wall in front of you at all times.
  • If you inadvertently happen to glance down NEVER make eye contact with the guy next to you afterwards.
  • Loud flatulence is an accepted part of Male Urinary Etiquette so long as it occurs whilst at the urinal.
  • Always ensure that you have not spent a long time in a cold place before visiting a urinal.
  • NEVER choose a urinal beside or anywhere close to somebody using no hands at all.
  • NEVER more than two shakes. More than two shakes is masturbation.

    Forwarded from Robert Poserina.