The following is the urinal configuration in a sample men's toilet. An X below
the number will indicate "in use." For example, in this diagram, urinals 3 and
6 are occupied:
You are to identify correctly, based on urinal etiquette, at which stall you
are to correctly stand. Good luck!
Subtle, tricky, but important-to-know question
Very tricky question
Correct answer: 6. This is the ONLY answer and every man instinctively
Correct answer: 6. Stall 5 is almost acceptable, but you run a greater
risk of being next to someone who arrives later.
Correct answer: 1 or 6. Choosing 2, 3, 4, or 5 tacitly says "I don't mind if
someone stands next to me," a very dubious message to be putting out.
Correct answer: 1. You're stuck being next to at least ONE other, so
you minimize the impact and get a wall on your left. NEVER go between TWO guys
except under extreme circumstances such as stadium toilets when under an
advanced state of inebriation and desperation.
Correct answer: 4. Choosing 1 or 3 "couples" you with the guy in stall 2
and we wouldn't want THAT now, would we? This differs from question 4 in such
a subtle way that cannot be explained. Suffice to say, only men would
Correct answer: NONE! In this case the only option is to use a doored stall.
Ensure however that you only half shut the door of the stall so that others do
not think you have something to hide. If there is no doored stall available
then you must go straight to the mirror and pretend to comb your hair or
straighten a tie until the urinals "open up" a bit more. Note that use of a
hand basin is an acceptable alternative to a doored stall at stadium toilets
6||Your Urinary Etiquette is of the highest order and you can confidently
deal with any urinary conundrum|
3-5||You know the basics, but are flummoxed by the difficult leading to much
time spent combing hair and adjusting ties until a simpler urinary combination
0-2||You are unable to go into a public male urinal without the danger of
sudden and immediate death. Advise staying at home at all times or if forced
to go out wear an appropriate length of hospice and attached plastic bag at
A few other golden rules in the Unwritten Code of the Urinals:
- NO talking, unless it's a good friend... but even then, keep it terse and
- Absolutely NO touching of anyone other than yourself. A touch of another's
elbow while shaking off afterwards is an unforgivable error.
- Look at the wall in front of you at all times.
- If you inadvertently happen to glance down NEVER make eye contact with the
guy next to you afterwards.
- Loud flatulence is an accepted part of Male Urinary Etiquette so long as it
occurs whilst at the urinal.
- Always ensure that you have not spent a long time in a cold place before
visiting a urinal.
- NEVER choose a urinal beside or anywhere close to somebody using no hands
- NEVER more than two shakes. More than two shakes is masturbation.