A guy dies and wakes up to find he is in hell. He's really
depressed as he stands in the
processing line waiting to talk to an admittance counselor.
He thinks to himself "I know I lead a wild life but I wasn't that
bad. I never thought it
would come to this." Looking up he sees that it is his turn to be
processed into hell.
With fear and a heavy heart, he walks up to the counselor.
|Counselor: ||What's the problem, you look depressed?
|Guy: || Well, what do you think? I'm in hell.
|Counselor: ||Hell's not so bad, we actually have a lot of fun. Do
you like to drink?
|Guy: || Sure, I love to drink.
|Counselor: ||Well then, you are going to love Mondays. On Mondays
we drink up a
storm. You can have whiskey, rum, tequila, beer, whatever you
want and as much as
you want. We party all night long. You'll love Mondays.
Do you smoke?
|Guy: || Yes, as a matter of fact I do.
|Counselor: ||You are going to love Tuesdays. Tuesday is smoke day.
You get to
smoke the finest cigars and best cigarettes available anywhere.
And you smoke to
your heart's desire without worrying about cancer because you are
already dead! Is
that great or what? You are going to love Tuesdays.
Do you do drugs?
|Guy: || Well in my younger days I experimented a little.
|Counselor: ||You are going to love Wednesdays. That's drug day. You
experiment with any drug you want and you don't have to worry
about overdoses or
getting hooked because you are already dead. You are going to
Do you gamble?
|Guy: || Yes, I love to gamble.
|Counselor: ||You are going to love Thursdays because we gamble all
day and night
-- black jack, craps, poker, slots, horse races, everything! You
are going to love
Are you gay?
|Guy: || Well, no I'm not.
|Counselor: ||Oh, you're gonna hate Fridays...