1. They would be called “Winders 95, Winders NT, and Winders 3.1.”
2. Instead of the hour glass wait icon, you’d get an empty beer bottle.
3. Occasionally you’d open a winder that was covered with a hefty bag and duct tape.
4. Dialog boxes that give you the choice of “Yes, No, or Cancel” would now read “Ahh-right, Naw, or Git.”
5. Instead of the “Ta-da” sound when opening Winders, you would now hear the “Dueling Banjos.”
6. The “Recycle Bin” in Winders95 would now be called “Out-House”
7. When you open the sound player, you would hear a digitized drunk yelling “Freebird.”
8. Powerpoint would now be known as “Parpawnt.”
9. Microsoft’s programming tolls would be “Vishul Basic” and “Vishul C++.”
10. The Winders 95 logo would be the Confederate Flag.
11. Instead of the title “VP”, Microsoft’s big shots would be called ”Cuz.”
12. Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am or a Chevy truck.
13. Four words: Daisy Duke Screen Saver.
14. ”Well, next thing ya know ol’ Bill’s a billionaire...”
15. Flight Simulator game would be replaced by Tractor Pull Simulator.
16. Microsoft’s CEO: Bubba Gates.