- Take your own sweet time when doing ANYTHING.
- Pronounce all one-syllable words with two.
- When giving directions, finish with and its right down yonder on
the left. Confuses the mess out of em.
- Talk REAL slow, and ask them to speak more slowly so you can
understand what theyre saying.
- Refer to every soft drink as a Coke.
- Always order sweet tea and/or grits. When they dont have it, raise a
- Insist on being addressed by your first AND middle names. (e.g.
Lisa Marie -- John Michael -- Jim Bob. . .you get the idea)
- Address all males as son and females as little lady.
- Correct their pronunciation of certain words. For example: Its
Pah-kahn not Pee-can.
- Put Tabasco on everything.
- For New York Yankees: Act as if the whole state of New York is New
York City. In other words, if they say Yo, Im from upstate New
Yoik!, say Well, Ill be damned, my wife has always wanted to see a
- Mash buttons. Cut off lights. Carry the kids to school.
- Never simply do something. Be fixin to do something.
- Call em a yankee. Works every time.