The repository contains 46 quotes in the category “Comebacks.”
Showing quotes 1 through 20 in the category “Comebacks.” Page 1 2 3.

To an Army quartermaster who said that he would like to pay his respects:

From the complaints of the soldiers, I guess that’s about all any of you do pay.

President Abraham Lincoln
1809 — 1865

When asked by a priest to suspend a convict's death sentence:

If I don’t suspend it tonight, the man will surely be suspended tomorrow.

President Abraham Lincoln
1809 — 1865

Response a woman who had written a letter asking for "a sentiment and an autograph":

Madam, when you ask from another that which is of interest only to yourself, always enclose a stamp. There’s your sentiment, and here’s your autograph.

President Abraham Lincoln
1809 — 1865

Upon being informed by a fellow Member of Parliament that his fly was open:

It is of no account; after all, the old bird does not fly far from his nest.

Prime Minister Winston Churchill
1874 — 1965

Upon being told by Lady Astor, "If you were my husband, I'd put poison in your tea.":

If I were your husband, I’d drink it!

Prime Minister Winston Churchill
1874 — 1965

Upon being told, "Must you fall asleep while I'm speaking?":

No, it’s purely voluntary.

Prime Minister Winston Churchill
1874 — 1965

To Liverpool socialist MP Bessie Braddock, who told him, "Winston, you're drunk.":

Bessie, you’re ugly. And tomorrow morning I’ll be sober, but you’ll still be ugly.

Prime Minister Winston Churchill
1874 — 1965

Upon being asked, "Is sex dirty?":

Only if it’s done right.

Woody Allen
1935 —     

To the wife of New York City Mayor John Lindsay, who said that he looked cool:

Thanks. You don’t look so hot yourself.

Yogi Berra
1925 —     

To his wife who asked him where she should bury him if he were to die first:

Surprise me.

Yogi Berra
1925 —     

When asked if the streakers that ran across the field were men or women:

I don’t know. They had bags over their heads.

Yogi Berra
1925 —     

When asked by his second grade teacher if he knew anything:

Ma’am, I don’t even suspect anything.

Yogi Berra
1925 —     

Upon being asked his hat size:

I don’t know, I’m not in shape.

Yogi Berra
1925 —     

In 1938 to State Department operative and former White Sox catcher Moe Berg, who offered to trade his knowledge of baseball for Einstein's knowledge of mathematics:

I think you would learn mathematics faster.

Albert Einstein
1879 — 1955

When asked what good a new invention was:

What good is a newborn baby?

Benjamin Franklin
1706 — 1790

Manager of the New York Yankees, to a young Mickey Mantle, who was surprised that Stengel, age 63, was teaching him baseball fundamentals:

Do you think I was born old?

Casey Stengel
1890 — 1975

When asked why he thought it impossible to name his one hundred favorite books:

Because I have only written five.

Oscar Wilde
1854 — 1900

To a crowd that had shouted, "Talk about the Queen!" in response to his claim that he could talk spontaneously on any subject:

The Queen is not a subject.

Oscar Wilde
1854 — 1900

Upon being asked whether he preferred grass to an artificial surface:

I don’t know. I’ve never smoked AstroTurf.

Tug McGraw
1944 — 2004

During his Hall of Fame induction speech, which followed sportswriter Hal McCoy's emotional speech about how family, friends and Cincinnati players refused to let him quit despite losing most of his eyesight:

In deference to Hal McCoy, I was asked to quit many times.

Bob Uecker
1935 —     

Showing quotes 1 through 20 in the category “Comebacks.” Page 1 2 3.