Julius Marx

Groucho Marx.

Born	October 2, 1890 New York, New York
Died	August 19, 1977 Los Angeles, California

American comic. The best-known of the Marx Brothers, he was famous for his trademark cigar, painted-on moustache, and wisecracks. Films include Animal Crackers (1930) and Duck Soup (1933). Hosted the game show "You Bet Your Life" (1950-1961) and the talk show "Tell It to Groucho" (1962).

The repository contains 13 quotes from Groucho Marx.

Death • Funny • Growing Old • Life

I intend to live forever, or die trying.

Happiness • Motivation

Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: “I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.”

Funny

Outside of a dog a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.

Politics and Government

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.

Classics

I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would accept me as a member.

Respect

I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll make an exception.

Funny • Men and Women

Any man who can see through a woman is missing a lot.

Recreation

I’ve had a wonderful time, but this wasn’t it.

Quotations

Quote me as saying I was misquoted.

Art and Music • Justice

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Marriage

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

Entertainment • Marriage

It looks as if Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.

Funny

I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.