|Born||Samuel Langhorne Clemens|
November 30, 1835
|Died||April 21, 1910|
Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
You can’t depend on your eyes if your imagination is out of focus.
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
On pre-Columbian explorers of America:
The researches of many commentators have already thrown much darkness on this subject, and it is probable that if they continue we shall soon know nothing at all about it.
Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.
Don’t go around the world saying it owes you something. It owes you nothing. It was here first!
Kindness is the language the blind can see and the deaf can hear.
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it’s time to pause and reflect.
A lie can go halfway around the world before the truth even has its shoes on.
Golf: a good walk spoiled.
Familiarity breeds contempt and children.
I’m opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.
Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.
Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.