|Born||February 24, 1968|
St. Paul, Minnesota
|Died||March 30, 2005|
Livingston, New Jersey
The repository contains five quotes from Mitch Hedberg.
If you can’t sleep, count sheep. Don’t count endangered animals; you will run out.
I find that ducks’ opinion of me is greatly influenced by whether or not I have bread.
Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.
This sign says “IMPROV”. I had a bad set on Friday night so yesterday they put an “E” on the end of it.
Alcoholism is the only disease that you can get yelled at for having.