The repository contains eight quotes from Woody Allen.

Death • Funny

I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.

Classics • Entertainment • Food and Drink • Growing Old

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.

Happiness

The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don’t have.

Success and Failure • Motivation

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

Death • Funny

I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work, I want to achieve it by not dying.

Funny

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.

Funny • Religion

How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?

Comebacks

Upon being asked, "Is sex dirty?":

Only if it’s done right.